I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize