I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
now i know why i became what i already was.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Randomize
