I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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