The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
