They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
