What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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