remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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