I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Dignity is for republicans.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
