the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
