Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
