After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
