she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
