Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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