look no pants
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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