i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
