We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
