The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Text me some of your sweat
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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