i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
