He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
