I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
