I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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