he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
