her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
