If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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