is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
