I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
