No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
they need to just BURY HIM!
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Randomize
