Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
