Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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