the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Two words: nipple clamps
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