As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Sober January is a disaster.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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