Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
i am craving dick and cupcakes
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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