We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
whose ass print is on the piano?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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