your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
