Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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