I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
