Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
