Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
