I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
