Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
