ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
