Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
