At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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