So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
