I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
