Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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