FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
