Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
