Pregnant stripper...not hot.
id be glad to
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
found the other keg... it's in the tree
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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