Yo dont text me then not text me
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize