I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
