I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
