Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
the liver wants what the liver wants
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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