She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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