we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
