so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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