Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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