So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
