i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
