sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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