He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
We left an ass print on the piano.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
