and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
