So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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