got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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