In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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