I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
