here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
